Saturday, February 8, 2014

I am the Lorax, I Read with a Wheez

February is I love to Read month, or so they tell me.  Our school decided that every Friday morning their would be a mystery reader after the morning announcements.  This is the first year they have done this and I was very excited when they asked me to be the first reader.  My excitement kept "biggering and biggering and biggering" when I found out I would be reading a selection from The Lorax, my favorite Dr. Seuss book.  

I love reading this book to my kids and get very dramatic about the whole thing.  I was excited to share my overdramatic side with the entire school.  Keep in mind we are a Pre-K-12 building, so my voice was going to be heard by students age 3-18.  

Fast forward to Friday morning.  My lovely wife had to go into work super early leaving me to get all 3 kids ready for school, ages 5, 8 and 11, and be on time for our Friday morning meeting.  We made it on time but there was some 11 year old drama that day as she lost some of her homework.  Then came the staff meeting, always a good time.  Then I got caught up in a conversation with another math teacher about class offerings for next year.  This is where the fun begins...

I was supposed to be in the office to read at 8:15.  The bell rings to start homeroom, at 8:15, and I am still in the middle of my conversation in my room with the other math teacher.  Nothing is registering yet in my brain about where I am supposed to be at this time.  

Then at 8:16 the speakers crackle and the principal begins his weekly Friday morning message.  In the middle of a sentence, I stop what I was saying, yell out "Oh no!" and in one motion grab my paper with the reading and head out my door.  

Now running in school is generally frowned upon, but I had a very short time to get to the office.  So I ran from my door all the way to the office.  Now keep in mind, I am not at my peak physical shape and I am a pretty big dude.  Even in my younger days, running was not my strong suite despite being a 3 sport athlete.  

I learned later that my principal, while reading the morning announcement had his eye on the cameras and saw me sprinting through the hallways trying to make my reading on time.  He slowed down his reading to try to give me time to make it to the office.  

Just as I reached his room where I was supposed to read, the principal was finishing up the last couple sentences.  However, there was a problem...breath.  

He handed me the phone to do the reading and I hadn't even gotten close to catching my breath.  So instead of a great dramatic reading of the Lorax, hundreds of students, ages 3-18, plus my fellow colleagues,  heard lines from the Lorax a couple words at a time and then a middle aged math teacher gasping and wheezing, and then a couple more words.  I tried to pass it off as dramatic, but I think that just made it worse.  

"From the ... (deep breath) ... rippulous pond ... (wheez)
came the ... (gasp) ... comfortable sound ... (long pause)

This went on for about 15 more line until thankfully it ended.  As I left the office and ran into students, they all yelled out a mixture of "I knew it was you, because we saw you running" and "Are you okay?"  All in all a total failure.  

I think I am ordering a treadmill on Monday.


1 comment:

  1. I can picture it running down the hall in total panic mode! At least you made it and got to read. If you would have forgot completely that would have been a total failure.